The Power of Handwritten Notes
Now that I’ve resumed making pastoral visits for a local church, I find myself looking for inspiration that will sustain me in this work. Most of my visits or phone calls are to church members who are not in the immediate crisis of a hospitalization, but are plugging along in retirement communities or caring for a declining loved-one. These are not the ones that the minister and paid church staff are going to drop everything to visit.
I read a long article about the pioneering work of Jerome Motto, a California psychiatrist and suicide researcher who stumbled on a simple but measurably effective way to coax people away from taking their own lives. It’s writing notes. Typically,the counselor or helper will continue to drop a brief message in the mail that repeats: “We’re thinking of you. We continue to care about your well-being.”
That’s it.
The persistence of the letters, coming regularly, sometimes for years, eventually persuades the receiver that the note-writing must come from genuine concern. Motto’s early pattern of letter frequency began with notes coming monthly for several months, then every two months, then quarterly for 4 years.
Jerome Motto experienced the power of a steady stream of letters while fighting in WWII. A girl he’d dated briefly sent regular letters. The letters weren’t clingy or manipulative. They were updates. They were a simple thread of connection that,to Motto’s surprise, sustained him through the hardships of his deployment.
The beauty of this approach, unlike a medication or talk therapy, is that it appears safe. The letters ought to contain no advice or urging, no matter how bland or necessary. Even such bromides as “stay positive or remember to give thanks” are too pushy and might place an unwelcome burden on a recipient. The notes need only communicate, “Thinking of you and your well-being.” The letters should not be a paper version of stalking.
What a clue for an efficient way for a pastor or visitation team to extend their concern and keep a scattered flock of parishioners close to caring heart of the community.
