The Moral Triumph of Joseph: A Christmas Meditation
Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.
I’ve been thinking about Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father. Luke elevates Mary and her role in Jesus birth by bringing him forth. That’s why she is called the queen of the saints. The vocation of saints—of Christians—is to bear Jesus into the world in some sense. Mary is our pattern on this.
Matthew, (Matthew 1.18-24) on the other hand, focuses on Joseph. Joseph’s role and enormous moral achievement is different than Mary’s and perhaps more gritty and grownup. Joseph’s contribution is a variety of humility. Now, humility is an important Christian virtue. But outside of Christian faith, humility is not prized. I think I can remember my parents, when I was growing up, maybe once or twice calling me down with, “don’t get too big for your britches,” or “don’t get a big head.” But much more they were interested in me standing out, rising up, not being a shrinking violet, speaking up and so on. Nowadays, our culture’s problem is narcissism. Nowadays, everybody is royalty. Everybody is famous. Everybody is world class. We’re on display on You Tube and, at least until recently, spent money like celebrities. Humility is a forgotten virtue.
The Lost Virtue of Humility
Joseph’s brilliance is his willingness to set himself, his honor and his rights, aside. And because of Joseph’s unique and heroic humility, the life of Jesus was preserved and became the hope of the world.
For instance, Joseph risked shame rather than endangering Mary and her baby. Let’s think about what it must have been like for Joseph to discover his soon-to-be bride expecting a baby. To do this, we’ve got to travel back to the ancient Middle Eastern world where men dominated and where honor and shame were all-important.
Back in Mary and Joseph’s time, marriage was a two-staged affair. A young woman was transferred from her father’s household to the groom’s possession. In an almost contractual agreement between the men, the bride was committed to the groom. This may seem rather backward and one-sided to us, but the girl’s virginity was the symbol of the honor of the family. If the girl was promiscuous or pregnant before her marriage, she created a shaming condition for her family. If this happened, it was the male’s responsibility to correct it—usually by killing their daughter or sister. The killing of the young woman turned the dishonor that she had brought into honor. Nowadays, honor killings are almost exclusively a Middle Eastern custom. They are universally outlawed but they still can happen.
Now, we know from the Christmas story that Joseph initially believed that Mary had been unfaithful to him. But being a kindly and righteous man, Joseph elected to quietly call off the marriage and carry on with his life.
God, however, revealed to Joseph that Mary’s baby was very different and did not have a human biological father. God asked Joseph to accept public humiliation by marrying his scandal-stained betrothed and by rearing her child.
What was certain death for Mary and her baby, was redeemed and became unexpected life for everyone. This was because of Joseph’s willingness to accept shame, dishonor, criticism.
Joseph Actually Listened to God
A second amazing quality in Joseph is his loyalty to his inner life. Like his namesake, Joseph, in the book of Genesis, the Father of Jesus listens to his dreams. What’s amazing is that Joseph has the fortitude to act resolutely on the basis of what God is telling him.
Later in the story, Joseph is warned in a dream to pull up stakes and travel to Egypt. Now am I right about this? If I had a dream where I felt that God was urging me to pick up and flee, even if no danger was visible, I’d wake up and wouldn’t do anything. I’d go around talking about it. “I’ve got a bad feeling about something.” “Smart people would be getting out of Dodge!” So what I’m admiring is not only does Joseph detect God’s urging, he acts on it.
In traditional societies, there was a hierarchy of authority. God gave power to the king. The king lent power to the father of the household. In this story, Herod the King is a monster. He’s depicted here together with his attendants as completely unaware that God is moving in the world. Joseph is utterly aware of the slightest movement of God in his own inner life. Again from certain death, Joseph’s humility in obedience to his inner voice, permits unexpected life to flourish.
We’ve all seen dozens of paintings of Jesus as a baby being held by his mother, Mary. The Madonna and Child motif. Joseph is often in the background or invisible entirely. Joseph is the quiet parent. But his willingness to set himself and his rights and his opinion aside simply permits the whole drama of salvation to happen.
What’s This Have to Do with Us?
We wonder what might change in our lives and world if we cultivated the unpopular personal quality of humility. We exercised restraint of speech. We laid down the everlasting burden of having to have things our way. We cultivated the toughness that comes with not always being fed just what we wanted or listened to or rested or entertained or recognized all the time. One wonders what might happen if, when our rights are abused, we didn’t feel a need to demand a correction.
Back in my late 20’s I knew of a high school principal who was a bright and attractive man. He was always polite to everyone and generally fair. Nevertheless, he had an unmistakable attitude, which communicated that, as head of the school, he was the only one allowed to have an idea. Dedicated and imaginative teachers were full of suggestions and innovations. But these were dismissed or ignored. The principal politely but firmly allowed no excitement or experiment to flourish in the school, unless he thought of it. After about three years with this leadership, teacher morale plummeted and several talented teachers took early retirement.
When we expand and crowd out other people even in polite or civilized ways, we block sources of life and energy that will arise through others being their own best selves. Joseph understood this. His self-forgetfulness took situations where life was threatened and turned it into fresh possibilities where life—the saving life of Jesus—could grow and flourish.
Joseph’s example invites you and me into a kind of inner quiet and surrender in our self-regard, which includes our reputations, and our craving to be more and say more. Maybe we talk ourselves into trouble with those close to us, forever saying the wrong thing and damaging something.
Consider surrendering that need to have the last word or to climb up above someone through your talk. What life might flourish if we lose the argument for a change? And must things go our way? Can we be uncomfortable for a while so that a more important good is permitted to go forward? Have we ever surrendered to being invisible at a gathering–just being there, but not angling for attention?
We’re talking about a virtue that is a subtle one, one that is not at all popular. But when we can come down, be quiet, so that something wonderful can happen, we’re participating in the humility that we see in God, in Jesus. Jesus was forever calling us to forgive and set our rights aside. It’s the servant who is the leader. The greatest is the least. And we see these qualities in Jesus’ parents.
Joseph’s humiliation, his obedience, his listening to his own heart where God dwells is his genius and an enormous gift to each of us.
